Those crazy Brits

Get this: the British tabloid News of the World publishes a report and video exposing Max Mosley taking part in a sadomasochistic orgy with five hookers. So Mosley sues the paper for breach of privacy. On the witness stand, the paper's editor, Colin Myler, does a brilliant rendition of the kid brother who runs home and snitches to Mom that he caught you smoking, then smugly assures you it was for your own good when Mom revokes your car privileges.

"It is what Mr Mosley did. The News of the World did not take Mr Mosley kicking and screaming to that apartment, that flat in Chelsea. The News of the World did not engage five girls for five hours of what went on - which was brutal."

What went on was that Mosley and the women acted out some sort of prison role play where German was spoken and someone caned Mosley's butt until it bled. Despite admitting he doesn't understand German, and that he only watched brief snippets of the video, Myler feels totally justified in his paper's hysterical reporting about a "sick Nazi orgy."

"This was absolutely a troubling situation and one I believe had legitimate public interest and one I believe was legitimate to publish."

Despite my unswerving belief in the sanctity of the free press, I can't muster a shred of sympathy for this guy.

Oddly enough, it turns out that S&M is, in fact, illegal in Britain if it leaves bruises or draws blood. Even if it happens in the privacy of your home. Even if you enjoy having your butt caned. Even if you pay someone to do it.

Let's get this straight: two people can strap on gloves, step into a public ring, and beat each other to shreds. You can go to a shop and have someone put holes in any body part you like. You can lop the foreskin off your child without his consent. No problem. But have your butt caned at home and you could actually be prosecuted for it. What is this, America?

So poor kinky Mr. Mosley may find himself pioneering the movement for the liberation of British BDSM. About time, too. At least give the tabloids one less thing to feel superior about.

Update: Mosley won his court case. No punitive damages against the paper. Myler, without any apparent trace of irony:

"Many would think that if a prominent man puts himself year after year into the hands of prostitutes, he is gambling in placing so much trust in them. There is a risk of exposure or blackmail in such a course of conduct."

Thanks for your concern, Colin.